The first five pranks were mostly a social experiment, to see how DamnPortlanders would react to fiction mixed in with their reality, to see if people would look at something ridiculous and believe it serious. They started in March 2005.

Prank 1: March 29, 2005. BUTLER AGENCIES. On DamnPortlanders, people are are always asking about specialty employment agencies, and often they receive valuable, personalized advice. Because of that, I left this post, asking if anyone knew someone who would hire me as a butler. I believe almost everyone caught on right away that I wasn’t serious. It was my first try.

Prank 2: April 28, 2005. THE CROOKED NOTARY. A month later, I asked if anyone in town knew where I could find a crooked notary. When people asked why I needed one, I told them I was trying to complete a bad real estate deal. Most people saw this was a joke right away, while others took it seriously, threatening to call the cops, and one person told me I was a person not “worthy to draw a breath.” All because of one question about a crooked notary, for crying out loud!

Prank 3: May 26, 2005. SEEKING A CHRISTMAS TREE IN MAY. The month of May brought with it a heat wave, so naturally I asked about U-Cut Christmas tree farms, because I was afraid that if I bought a tree from a boy scout lot, it would dry out by the time that the holiday rolled around. People thought I was serious and didn’t see much humor in it. They just thought it was weird. In hindsight, this wasn't nearly as funny as I thought it was before I posted it.

Prank 4: June 15, 2005. TRANPORTING PEOPLE IN A U-HAUL. In this next post, I ask if anyone knows the best way to secure lawn chairs in the back of a U-Haul, because I wanted to take all my friends out on my birthday. This is a subtle one, and the few who responded took the question quite seriously. Needless to say, I do not recommend transporting people in the back of a U-Haul.

Prank 5: July 27, 2005. PUBLIC SCHOOL NINJA PROGRAM. A month passed, and all my prank ideas had dried up. So I asked the damnportlanders if they knew which of the Portland Public Schools had a ninja education program. OK, so that one’s not so great. They get better.

In late August, it seemed as though DamnPortlanders still hadn't caught on that I was leaving ridiculous posts on a regular basis, so I decided to pick up the pace. I decided to leave a post once a week, always on Mondays.

Prank 6: August 22, 2005. CROSSING TOWN ON HORSEBACK IN RUSH HOUR.Yes, this one was taken seriously. Within the context of DamnPortlanders, it didn’t even seem odd.

Prank 7: August 29, 2005. HOTEL BEEFEATERS WHO PACK HEAT. The Portland hotels who cater to the brutally rich have a strange, time-honored tradition of dressing up their door-person as a beefeater. In my second straight Monday post, I suggested that the beefeaters were more than just ceremonial window dressing, but that they were also packing heat. It made sense after a rash of summer downtown shootings. There were enough chuckles from this one for everybody to share a few.

Prank 8: September 5, 2005. DEEP-FRIED SNO-CONES. People might be starting to catch on. On Labor Day, I commented that at the Oregon State Fair, vendors were serving deep-fried sno-cones coated in a tempura batter. This one was believed, oh yes.

Prank 9: September 12, 2005. BAT SIGNAL ACROSS PORTLAND. This one might just be my favorite, even though the resposes were few. Anyone who went outside to check the night sky at least saw a beautiful moon.

Prank 10: September 19, 2005. WHERE IS THE 205? This one was so weird that I wanted to erase it just after I posted it. I pretended that the 205 Freeway had mysterious vanished. People neither took it seriously nor thought it was funny. People thought I had been listening to too much Floyd.

More and more people are beginning to catch on, but I kept on posting . . . .

Prank 11: September 26, 2005. COLLECTING RETAINERS AND ORTHODONTIC GEAR FOR THE THIRD WORLD. I liked this one very much, even though it's weird. People are often gathering odd items for charity, so I thought why not used orthodontal gear? People thought I was serious and that it was a bad idea. I don't think I would ever want an unknown stranger's retainer in my mouth, but that's just me.

Prank 12: October 3, 2005. DRAWBRIDGES RAISED FOR SUBMARINE RIVER TRAFFIC. This one was another weak effort. It turns out a local TV station pulled a similar gag once on April Fool's Day. This one was funny to me right up until I posted it.

Prank 13: October 10, 2005. A RUSSIAN ROCKET NOSE CONE IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD. I claimed that my neighbor had bought a used Russian rocket and was planning a launch right out of his yard. This time the joke was on me. It turns out in Portland, many people buy rockets and have them in their yards. A much more interesting post that same day was about sex parties.

Prank 14: October 24, 2005. THE 1989 SEGWAY. I missed a Monday because I was sick. So the next week, I decided to actually put some effort into the prank. The photo here says it all. No one took this seriously. If they had, I could have cleaned up. Do check this out. (By the way, that's Kevin operating the handcart-Segway.)

Prank 15: October 31, 2005. A SWEATER KNIT FROM STEEL WOOL. This was perhaps my most convoluted effort, designed to keep people off balance. I was busy that week and never looked at the comments. A sweater knit from steel wool is something you'd only find in Portland.

By late fall, I was in a groove ... or was I?

Prank 16: November 14, 2005. PABST STOUT. I missed another week, because I was out of town and without the internet. I gave thought to ending my run of pranks. But then I posted this anyway. Portland loves Pabst. If Pabst made a stout, Portland would love that, too.

Prank 17: November 21, 2005. THE PLAID PANTRIFICATION OF AMERICA. Plaid Pantries are harmless creatures. In this post, I make them out to be like Wal-Mart. I like the idea of taking all of our region's problems to Lars Larson.

Prank 18: November 28, 2005. MYSTERIOUS CREATURES INHABITING GOVERNMENT ISLAND. Government Island rests in the Columbia between Oregon and Washington. It is uninhabited. Or is it? I knocked this one out. I am not sure it's funny or not. I think I lost my perspective on what's funny a long time ago.

Prank 19: December 5, 2005. CREDIT LIMIT ON A SAFEWAY CLUB CARD. I was feeling rather goofy so I tossed it out there that I had been using a Safeway Club Card as a credit card but that it was beginning to get declined, and I was curious if others were having a similar experience. Fun, oh my!

Prank 20: December 12, 2005. HUNTING SEASON AT REED COLLEGE. This prank ruffled feathers and turned out to be the last one in the series. At the time, I was living near Reed College, famous for its Ren Faire and student body eager to push the envelopes of societal norms. This email suggested that hunting season was slated to begin on campus, and that I opposed it and would be leading a candlelight vigil. Folks did not like this one bit.

I called the prank series a day, deciding it was time to move on to other pursuits, even though I really cant't think of any. Maybe I will get around to finishing my next book one of these days.

Bonus prank: December 22, 2005. THE SECRET, KINKY NATURE OF PAPER-SHREDDING TRUCKS. Even after ending the prank series, I was still coming up with new ideas. I posted this one not in DamnPortlanders, but rather my own journal.